Holiday Spirit Timezzz

I listened to Barry White for a long time the other night and realized his greatest hits could be a soundtrack to a porno.  Plus,  he looks like the biggest pimp EVER so it all makes sense.

Yes, there is something such as too much Barry White, hard to believe. I hit the Barry White wall once I heard these lyrics: “Let my love flow inside you.” Feeling optimistic I put my itunes library on shuffle, and boy was itunes looking out for me on this one. What came on, you ask? None other than Michael Bolton’s version of “Walkin In a Winter Wonderland,” which I got free from itunes …because honestly, no one actually pays for Michael Bolton. Now, as much as I can make fun of Michael Bolton right now, I’m gonna let this one go and just thank him for getting me in the holiday spirit and away from porn. Thanks Mike!

Speaking of the holiday sprit, I’ve  had a couple of items brought to my attention that could either be the greatest OR worst gifts in the universe (Indecisiviness isn’t one of my greatest traits). Firstly, I present you this diamond in the rough. Crazy Cat Lady Game! Who ever invented this, I’m extending an offer for best friendship. Please accept.

Next, there’s the one, the only: Toast Clock. Really, what better way to tell time than from a piece of toast? Time flies when…you’re eating toast? I guess toast consumption is fairly enjoyable if heated to the perfect crispness allowing minimal crumbs. I’ve wasted too much time thinking about toast…NEXT.

Two words: Dog Mustache. If my dog wasn’t such a southern lady, I would most definetly pick this up for her. BUT, for those of you who have dogs who appreciate a good disguise here or there, this is a good bet for a doggie gift. Why should humans get all the fun?

There’s just a little taste of the wacky things you can find on the internet. Oh technology! Anyway, I leave you with the greatest holiday song ever. “White Christmas” sung by my main man Otis Redding… even though I’m jewish and supposed to like those Adam Sandler songs. I DARE you not to feel cheerful after listening.