Study habits are something I seem to have lost this semester. Kinda like that necklace from 8th grade you lent to your friend and want to wear months later only to realize that, that baby is gone forever (Ahem, Stephanie cough cough.)
ANYWAY, I’m over the necklace (complete lie).
So, whenever I get ready to study it takes a good 20 minutes to decide my *study music*. I have known since forever that I can ONLY study to music with no words, hence the numerous jazz albums on my itunes. But, for some foolish reason I convinced myself I could do otherwise. NOPE. A live Bob Marley & The Wailers cd that I picked up at a flea market for a dollar was the declared *study music.* Gotta get my dollars worth, right? I read about 1.24 pages before my attention was completely gone, sorry business textbook- a soothing Jamaican voice is just more appealing. The next logical thing was to, obviously, look up fun facts about animals while jamming out. My thought process here included this screwed up version of rationalization- Look up weird facts about animals because I want to learn, just not really about business. Did you know that a hippo can open it’s mouth wide enough for a 4 foot child to stand in? That’s 4 $5 foot longs at Subway! That’s $20 worth of sandwich to cover a hippo’s mouth! AND starfish don’t have brains, heartbreaking. The scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz and a starfish would be great friends.
That got me thinking about animal similes and how completely ridiculous, yet amazingly fun they are. BUT, most of them are so generic and only highlight typical animals like birds, bees, dogs, and foxes. COME ON, the world is filled with so many fantastic animals that deserve to be compared to adjectives just like the rest! Don’t hate. Since when do birds and bees get to sit at the cool table at lunch? Not in my school. I took a stab at this whole animal simile thing to spread the love to some of our less appreciated species. I’m sure these similes will spread like wildfire.
- As embarrassed as a giant salamander- those things are ugly- I’d be embarrassed looking like that too.
- As confident as a giant coconut crab- no explanation necessary
- As slaphappy as a sun bear- that guy’s got the giggles, can’t ya tell?
- As scared as a star nosed mole- this guy just straight up gives me the heebie- jeebies.
- As Ambivalent as an Aye- Aye lemur- I bet you didn’t even know this guy exists! He does, and now is forever associated with ambivalence, you’re welcome.
- As nonchalant as a Narwhal- they just look so stress-free, even with swords sticking out of their face.
That was the most fun studying I’ve had in awhile. I very much recommend the Animal Simile Game. Point of the story, don’t EVER ask me for study tips, you’ll end up making Jello and watching it form for hours if it were up to me.